A Love Poem

I know how this one
Is going to end
So why can't we just skip to that part

There's no free will anymore,
Just going through the motions.
Sometimes you'll be surprised,
But looking back
It didn't happen any other way

Since this is how it ended up
It couldn't happen any other way

In theory
If you'd just changed that one little thing
Everything would be different

In practice
We don't have the power
To change anything
That brought us to where we are.
And where we are
Is exactly where we were going to end up
From the start

Even if you don't see the train coming
That doesn't mean it won't run you over

There is free will
And there isn't free will
Assuming you have the choice to look at it
In more ways than one
Assuming that the ability to look
At two different sides is a choice
Assuming that, afterwards, when all is said and done
You had the ability to choose

You know,
This was supposed to be a love poem.
When I wrote those first lines
I swear I knew how it was going to end.
I thought I was in control of this poem
But I'm not

I didn't choose to write this
I wrote it and now that it's almost done
I can't change it.
I could write something else
Strikingly similar to this
But this has already been written
And I can't lie to myself
And say it wasn't

So here it is
And here I am
Naked before you

I have no free will
Because everything happened
Exactly as it did

At least
That's my definition of free will;
The will to choose
After everything has already happened

I can choose to be free
Or I can choose to die
Right this instant
But tomorrow
I can't choose today

And it scares me not to have a choice.